The Assembly of Wonder

I've written and published 27 novels and short story collections, of which most are self-published. Without an agent, which I do not have, although I've tried, it is nearly impossible for a publisher to take an interest in your works. For the novels that I have published with publishers, it took nearly 100 inquiries for each title. So, I know and dislike the tedious process of seeking an agent and a publisher. I've given up on traditional publishers and have embraced self-publishing with distribution through Ingram Spark. In the past few months, I have received inquiries from individuals purporting to be from well-known publishing houses, specifically in regard to one novel, Sympathy, which is published by Solstice. The emails detail the "wonderful" qualities of the novel and seek to publish them. Here is what the latest email said about the book: " What struck me most about your work was your nuanced character dynamics, deeply observant emotional voice, and...

I've tried to quit smoking cigars perhaps a dozen times, primarily due to the cost, but have always found the act of smoking too enjoyable. I look forward to retrieving the cigar from my small humidor, unsleeving it, taking off the wrapper, and lighting up. With cigars and my pipe, I do not inhale the smoke, but rather just sip and mouth exhale.  You may ask if I know that smoking cigars and pipes is harmful. Yes, there are risks of cancer, including mouth, throat, lung, and stomach. Two factors that may determine the risk of cancers is length of smoking life and the daily use. In other words, the longer and the more you smoke, the greater your risk. I don't take that lightly, but I do have that attitude of "it won't happen to me." In general, I am very healthy. I walk for an hour each day with my dog and eat relatively healthily. I don't have a smoker's cough and do not feel that my lung strength is compromised. So, I have smoked cigars for some thirty ye...

Although I hated to leave Lucy in Cambodia, I looked forward to coming home and getting back into the routine. We had a tearful (mostly me) goodbye at the hotel. I had requested that Mr. Lim take me to the airport at eight a.m., and he was right on time. The rush-hour traffic was especially heavy with uniformed men blowing whistles long and hard. I stared out the window also long and hard, soaking up the scenery of new apartment buildings, which seemed mostly empty, restaurants, banks, and food stalls. There is a clash of the new with the old. Fast forward, after losing a credit card in the airport, I'm on the plane in economy as usual, settling in for the 14-hour flight. I tried to doze but couldn't, and then wanted to read, but the second novel I had brought did not interest me. I sat in an aisle seat so that I could easily get up and visit the restroom, which I always try to do. I spent an hour in Hong Kong and then boarded the 14-hour flight to Dallas. After fidgeting, I fi...

I’m back in the States, but minus Lucy. It was a tearful goodbye in Phnom Penh. I think I was the only American on the flight and am glad to be home but already missing Lucy (and eager to see my daughter, Cora) and wishing Lucy the best as she travels to Thailand, Laos, and Vietnam. It was amazing to see how well Lucy navigated the vagaries of travel and a massive culture change.   Cambodia is a very friendly country to outsiders. At our hotels, the staff were so kind and caring, and for only $25 a night with a free breakfast buffet. I’m staying at a hotel tonight in Dallas ($110) and the one person at the desk was colorless and somewhat frigid. The taxi driver from the airport was sullen and refused to talk and charged $48 for a two-mile ride. In Cambodia, we were charged only $15 for a six-hour van ride to Siem Reap.  Part of the reason, possibly, for the great care given in Cambodia is that we are considered rich by their standards. The average monthly salary in Cambodia is...

I can’t believe I just lost my credit card. I’m returning home today, back to the States. Mr. Lim from the hotel dropped me off after a drive through very heavy and crazy traffic. I had my credit card inside my passport, which I passed back and forth a few times while checking in. I lost it in the shuffle, but was able to cancel the card quickly. I couldn’t bear the thought of retracing my steps and asking if anyone had found it. I have two other cards, so it’s no problem. Harder than losing my card was saying goodbye to Lucy this morning. I got choked up, but I think she will be able to navigate the next few weeks by herself. People in Cambodia are extremely polite and attentive. We had breakfast together and then parted ways. I’m still very sad but I have to get back home as my classes start in a few days. Last night, to celebrate my birthday, I chose to get pizza. I was craving bread primarily, and thought that pizza would do the trick. The place was hard to find, alleyways ending i...

Whenever I travel, I feel that I suffer. It could be the places I travel to such as Cambodia, Cuba, Ethiopia. I’ve never had a proper trip to an easy country, although Albania and Malta were somewhat easy, except for the language barrier. Around noon yesterday, I began to feel queasy, in addition to being majorly constipated. Thus, I began to suffer through the day and night, skipping lunch and dinner and drinking a lot of water. Suffering leads to a longing for home. In the moment, I feel lost and weak. I tell myself that I will never travel abroad again, but then it happens. So, I lay down in our room and slept through the afternoon and night, my head aching, my insides feeling stuck together. And then came the diarrhea, along with the fullness in my stomach. Lucy was fine and had dinner with her new friend Mattias as I slept, rising only to tackle the toilet. I craved water, and Lucy notified the front desk. Within seconds, a young woman appeared but without water bottles. She spoke...

If you visit Siem Reap, Cambodia, you have to visit the Apopo Visitor Center, which houses African pouch rats that are used to discover landmines. It’s estimated that 75% of mines have been cleared, but 25% remain. The rats follow a leash making passes in a grid pattern, and signal by scratching the soil or sand. It takes a minimum of 5 kilograms weight to trigger a mine, and the rats only weigh 1 to 1.5 kilograms. The highlight of the tour was holding a rat named Nina. You have to wash your hands and arms before holding the rat. Nina was very calm and licked my arm. Lucy also held Nina as did a few others in our group. It’s estimated that it costs 6,000 euros to house, feed, and transport each rat per year. The Center is highly organized and sophisticated. It was nice to see something uplifting after visiting a killing field and a Khmer Rouge prison. Under Pol Pot, an estimated 3 million Cambodians were tortured and murdered from 1975-79, including children, whose heads were bashed ag...

After 24 hours of flying, I felt myself slipping into a dark void. I’m in Phnom Penh with my daughter Lucy for the first week of her tour of Southeast Asia. I always brace myself when I travel and have to remain vigilant regarding my mental health. After a couple of beers in the hotel bar, with a nice sitting area, we wound up falling asleep at 2 p.m. and sleeping through the night, although I woke up at 3 a.m. filled with anxiety, worrying that Lucy was in as much shock as I was. To add to my anxiety, I worried that I had not properly reserved our full-day tour, with stops at a killing field and a Khmer Rouge prison. A voice told me that I had screwed up, and that we would miss our tour. I immediately resigned myself to failure and worried that it would taint her first full day in Phnom Penh. All along, I have been so worried about her traveling alone. One reason I came with her was to hopefully provide some comfort and guidance. I viewed her as a weak link in her travel plans and mys...

After a sobering tour yesterday visiting a killing field and the S21 prison, we made our way to Siem Reap today, a six-hour bus ride. It was surprising that we stopped four times for bathroom breaks, which was nice. We traveled the entire way on Route 6, passing gas stations, ramshackle houses, off-white cows with their ribs showing, and hundreds of signs for energy drinks and “premium” bottled water. We are staying at the Le Grande Indochine, a very nice hotel for only $28 night. Everything is so cheap here and of high quality. Around 7 p.m. we took a tuktuk to the nightly street market where we had street food and strolled the streets. It was very busy and crowded. As we walked, we were tagged by three little girls selling trinkets. I have two daughters and am a sucker in such situations. I wound up buying something from each of them. They were very appreciative and charming. Back at the hotel, Lucy was tired and went to bed early. Of course, I had to have a smoke of my pipe on the r...

There’s something about travel that is mysterious yet low-key terrifying. I’m sitting on a flight from Dallas, Texas, to Hong Kong, sixteen hours in length. It’s two in the morning, and the lights have dimmed. I’m not sure If we are over the ocean yet. My daughter, Lucy, is sitting next to me with a blanket over her head. There is a cocooned   whum   of the jet, and a few small children calling out as if protesting the absurdity of floating above the Earth.   My father was career military, and we moved at least once a year until I was in high school. When I was two, we moved to Augsburg, Germany. I’m not sure that I remember much, but I’m sure that I knew something was new, the air, the sounds. There’s an old 8 mm movie of me playing in a sandbox with another kid. I stalk him and throw sand into his eyes with quite a curious grin.  When I was six, we moved back to Germany to an Army base near Stuttgart. This time, the difference between what was and what is made a gr...

How does one experience surrealism? Surreal is defined as being oddly dreamlike. There is a hole in reality that allows the possibility of the fantastic. Many of the stories I've written employ surrealism, such as "He Paid It No Mind." In the story's opening, the sky is filled with lightning and bowling balls. There is a refrain after each scene: "He paid it no mind," juxtaposing reality with fantasy. One of my favorite surreal stories is "Letter to a Young Lady in Paris" by Julio Cortázar. All seems normal as a man stays in the apartment of his friend, who is in Paris. But we are early on dipped into the surreal when we learn that the man vomits live bunnies. He goes about his day working as a translator, while the bunnies sleep in the wardrobe. He then lets them out to play, but soon the bunnies are destroying the apartment, breaking glass, and chewing book covers. It becomes obvious that the man is psychotic and hallucinating the bunnies. There...

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (2026), the prevalence of OCD in the United States is 2.3%. OCD can be harmless, but it can also hinder one's undertaking of daily life. Some people with OCD have to touch wall switches three times or do a spin before passing through a door. I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but I do exhibit OCD behavior that does not really annoy me or other people. When I walk my dog at a local trail in the River Park, basically a paved trail that follows the Tennessee River, I have to touch things such as garbage cans, light poles, and signs. I always touch the same things, getting a tiny thrill each time I make contact. If I miss touching something, then a slight panic sets in until I reach the next object that I can touch. My behavior is not noticeable, I think, and adds to the overall pleasure of the walk. I used to count people and dogs on the trail, but I grew weary of the task and switched to touching things. My dog, who looks like a...

According to the World Health Organization (2026), more than 720,000 people die worldwide from suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15–29-year-olds. In the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 48,824 people committed suicide in 2024, with the trend increasing over the last ten years.  Why do we commit suicide when evolution shows us that we exist and evolve through learned behavior and instinct? The instinct is to stay alive and perpetuate the species, as with all animals. What is the value then in ending your life? Those who perceive themselves as a burden and who are compromised in terms of reproduction are more likely to attempt suicide. The overall good of this is that associates of the suicide will benefit from the death, gaining more resources to distribute among the group. This beneficent suicide may explain some cases, but not all. Those who suffer from mental illnesses such as depression are more likely to co...